It’s quite unfair when adults get shamed for maintaining strong attachments to their mothers, especially men. Sure, a level of independence is expected of you at this stage, but no one is ever too old to need their mother’s love and care . Your mom plays the role of mother, friend, adviser, and confidant. You shouldn’t have to draw away from their mothers because you are expected to be completely independent of her at a certain age.
Young children outgrow their toys. At the age of 3, many are obsessed with cars, monster trucks, or dolls. Later, they get over these things and begin to crave something different, something a little more immersive, like chemistry set or model space ship perhaps (or since it’s 2020, probably that iPad they begged for).
However, none of these will replace a mother. A mother is a person who immerses the entirety of herself into children, sons and daughters alike. We don’t outgrow our mothers at a certain age. It’s only natural that she’ll no longer have to do certain things for you, but you’re allowed to need her love, guidance, care, and counsel.
Why you should need your mom
Your mom is like a charm you wear everywhere in your heart.
She’s that person who’d be heavily busy at work but would drop everything and dive out the moment her child needs her. She’s that person who somehow manages to do everything at once to make life better for her kids. A mother may have a buzzing career and several things going on for her, but her life will always revolve around her kids before anything else.
She is your best friend. You can confide in your mom about anything and be certain you won’t get judged. She loves you and would only want the best for you. She sees your life from a different perspective, and all she’ll ever want is what would make you truly happy.
A conversation with your mother can heal your soul. Her words, laugh, smile and antics will always have a soothing, healing and rejuvenating effect on you, no matter how deeply you’ve been scarred by life’s trials.
As Sanober Khan said, “My mother is pure radiance. She is the sun I can touch and kiss and hold without getting burnt.”
Your mother’s love is unconditional and flows without season. She loves in all weather and her love never wavers in any situation. People will come and go in your life, but your mom will always be there. No one can forgive like a mother does when her child is involved. No matter how badly you’ve messed up, your mom will always be there for you.
She may be hurt and upset for a while, but she will always find plenty of room in her heart for her child.
Keeping in touch with your mother. Here’s what you can do
If your mother is late, we want you to know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. May she rest among the stars, where she truly belongs.
If your mom is still with you, it’s important to make the best the time you have together, even if she’s a million miles away. Distance should never be a reason to cease having a relationship with your mom. It’s time to bridge the gap and pick up the slack.
Call her regularly: If it’s possible, have scheduled times in the week to talk to your mother, or better still, video-chat with her. Let her have a copy of this schedule so she can clear her time exclusively for you. Try not to talk for less than 30 minutes during each call. Tell her about what’s going in your life and that of your family. Share the little details, such as your child’s latest bruise or the color of your new shirt. Listen to her talk about her wellbeing and daily adventures. It’s not the same as speaking physically with her, but you’d feel the strength of her love all the same.
Visit her as often as you can: If you’re in different cities, countries or continents, visiting your mom may be a tough call, but you have to make out the time to go be with her once in a while. She needs you and even more, you need her. If your mother lives close to you, visit her as often as possible and invite her over to your home. Your mom deserves to maintain her place in your life even when you have your own family. Let her know that you’re not relegated her to the background, and she’s still every inch the mom you’ve always loved.
Create a hobby with her: Come up with an activity that would greatly interest you two and serve as a fun way to spend quality time together. Sign up for a cooking class, a salsa club, a horse-riding club or community volunteering. Knit, clean, garden, or feed stray animals with her. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as you and your mom get to bond over this activity.
Never stop letting your mom know how much you love her. Time is fleeting and contrary to what many of us believe, life is short. Let’s make the most of it while we still can.
Don’t ever be ashamed of needing your mom, because you’re never too old for her love. She’ll always be there for you.